Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left but then, suddenly, there is a cute girl on the picture.
She has a seductive but cute face and you instantly got attracted to her so you swipe right. You experience the best sex and probably the best night of your life then. She completely rocked your world. You feel like she has it all — brains, a great body and an unlimited desire for you which literally spill from her eyes as soon as she sees you. You are left confused as to what to do now. Do you talk to her or ignore her, is it just your imagination playing with you or do you really like, do you text her for a hookup or call her up for a date?
So many questions, so much confusion. We will first determine if you really want to date the girl and then proceed to the 10 ways you can turn a hookup into a relationship. You know the moment you meet a girl and you feel like she is the only one in How to make a girl your hookup fall for you world for you.
Welcome to the Honeymoon phase. But if I would ask you to name her flaws and trust me, everyone has flawswould you be able to do it.
Take a bit of your time to truly get to know your hookup, her strengths and weaknesses, her strong points but also her flaws.
Only then can you actually see the person for who she is instead of having a mental image you projected on her. It was swiping left for you for ages and How to make a girl your hookup fall for you, this girl came along. So you jumped the gun and thought that you need to date her. There are more than 4 billion women out there and even if you have 37 criteria for women, you would still find at least 50 girls that are you just like that one.
Consider if you want a relationship only because there is nobody else right now or because you truly care for person. You will waste your and her time as well and you will both end up hurt from this. When was the last time you had sex before this person came along? If you just quit your job and you are building a start-up which requires hour work days with days on the road, then you should think about the time needed for a relationship to work.
Take a long, hard look at your lifestyle and see if you can turn a hookup which requires less time into a relationship which requires a hell of a lot more. When you are building a relationship, you want it to have some sort of a future. You want to know that there is a certain future you two can share together. But for you to know, understand and see that, you need the dual approval. We have already discussed the perils of the Honeymoon phase on deciding to turn a hookup into a relationship.
You need to both feel emotionally right for the other person and also logically assess how you two would work out. You can have the biggest hots for a girl and have mind-blowing sex, but she is a drug addict which stole your TV last time she was in your apartment.
She is a hedge-fund manager with her own life and autonomy, a great apartment, smoking hot body and no daddy-issues as an emotional baggage.
But there is absolutely no chemistry between you two. Do both my mind and my heart say yes to turning this hookup into a relationship? If you have gone through this checklist and decided that you truly want to date this hookup then continue reading the article. You will find 10 simple pieces of advice on how to turn a hookup into a relationship. A real connection is about making a mere physical thing like a hookup into an emotional ride with sincerity, vulnerability and deep affection for the person.
I could write for days and hours on how to make a real connection and I have, you can check How to make a girl your hookup fall for you out herebut what I would suggest you here is a movie. A girl likes nothing more than to get a drunken text at 1 a. Joke aside, if you want to date this girl and you dothen you should make plans with her for more activities then a booty call.
Rule of thumb here is to take small, incremental steps instead of giants leaps.
So you got her out of the horizontal position to somewhere where you two can talk. What to talk about? Address the elephant in the room because it will probably be awkward in the beginning.
Take the lead and start talking about relationships in general and how they simplify life, what their meaning is and how great they are when you find a great person.
You will notice how she acts, feels, and reacts to this topic so you adjust to her. Ask the things that reveal her character to you. That is how you will deepen the relationship you two have, move it from only physical to emotional and convey to her that you are interested in her. And by interested, I mean not just in physique, but also her brains, emotions, and life.
Keep on calibrating your approach to the questions and make it a conversation, not an interrogation. We are starting the sail at Can you make it? You have a boat? Business was going good so I got myself one last year.
How to make a girl your hookup fall for you could continue in so many different ways, all beneficial for you if you used the second approach.
Instead of telling her how cool, brave, rich, smart, reliable you are, simply show her that through your lifestyle. Simply live your life as you live it per usual and simply show her that. You can simply take her to your favorite coffee shop where the staff treats you like family, or invite her over for a movie where she can see the pictures from your travels on your apartment walls.
When she sends you a message or demands that you talk to her, invest time in her and in general be available to her, you need to chill out a bit and not respond immediately.
Because you have just shown her your cool life and now, she is hooked on you and she wants to get to you know you more. If you take a ball of string and tease the cat with it, holding it so close but yet out of the reach, she will constantly jump around to take it, thus keeping itself interested in it.
If the cat gets the ball, she will play with it for a while but then lose interest. So by making yourself there, but a bit out of reach, she will simply want you more. This basically means that she should know that you have other girls in your life and that other girls want your time. You can use social media effectively for this by showing off with other girls via Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.
Brand of any company is a perceived value and you as a guy can have the same thing. We want more of the things we perceive valuable and if other people want it to, then the perceived value of the item grows. So the more women want you, the more value you will appear to have. Ok, you are a busy guy with an amazing lifestyle and a lot of girls around you. If you make her feel this important in your life by making her your world for the next one or four hour, you will get yourself a girlfriend.
Wow, what a boring movie… I mean person. Leave many places mysterious but you can drop some small hints here and there. Let her want to know you more and explore everything you are instead of you simply telling her everything. And she will be on a quest to discover who you are.
Remember the cat string theory here — give her just enough to keep her hooked but not everything to grow bored. I did this thing with an audience of people when I started telling them about my internship to Russia. So the authorities deported me back to Turkey. But then, all hell broke loose and the government in Turkey locked me up in the jail at the airport.
How to make a girl your hookup fall for you in the jail was the most difficult day in my life. This is also something borrowed from the evolutionary biology where tribes would fight together if there was a bigger threat endangering all of them. During this time of crisis, you become so cohesive against something out there that you act like a single individual.
And by creating this kind of scenario, you two get this internal cohesion against something out there. Framing the conversation this way happens naturally over a longer period of time, but if you want it to happen fast, then you should use polarization. We have covered a lot here, from the initial dilemma of you actually wanting to date the girl or not.
We had a small checklist there with 4 questions you should have answered for yourself. The 4 questions were related to: The Honeymoon phase 2. Relationship fitting your lifestyle right now and, 4. The dual approval of heart and mind. Only when you have answered these questions and decided that you want to date a hookup, is when we went into pieces of advice on turning a hookup girl into someone you date. Making a real connection 2. Making it about more than just booty calls 3.
Talking about relationships in general 4. Asking about her life 5. Showing her your cool life 6.