Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me. Spice things up in a first date by wearing a parachute and refusing to talk about it.
Girls complain about guys using them for sex, but sex is awesome! Start bitching when he uses you for laundry, or as a human shield.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious. I'm not into Internet dating, but I am dating the Internet. If my girlfriend doesn't start being nicer to me, I'm totally gonna bottle up my rage and stay in this shitty relationship for 2 more years. Hey Dirty online dating jokes humor are you a jellyfish because my understanding of your anatomy is rudimentary at best and I'm afraid to go near you.
Ugh my boyfriend is taking forever to exist. Put your arm around her. Then your other arm. Wait this might be football.
Relationships are like marathons, which are also stupid. The dating process is basically just guys pretending that they like to leave their house. Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?
Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest. Right now, several billion people aren't dating you.
How rude is that? A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Please check out my posts and let me know if you want to share your experience: Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.