The reddit self-improvement and seduction community! Want to start a local lair? Seddit Simple Questions Thread. How does one practice without danger of being accused of "sexual harrassment" and treated like a predator? We live in a world where there is no difference between "sexual harrassment" and trying to flirt with someone who isn't attracted to you.
This turns flirting into a game of Russian roulette.
Earlier this year, I was banned Pua direct approach sexual harassment working at a college campus for asking a girl out because it made her "uncomfortable" and she reported me. To be fair, I did it while I was working saleswhich is not the most appropriate as far as my employer is concerned, but it's still cause for alarm that a complaint about it framing it as "harrassment" is taken seriously. The MeToo craze, and the fact that the accusers became Time's person of the year, "Pua direct approach sexual harassment" me think that the feminist witch hunt against men based on male sexuality existing, has been ramped up to a maximum this year.
Scott Adams says that in society, he is afraid to say hi to a girl who smiled at him in the grocery store. That will just justify your bitterness and give you excuses. Also, it sounds like you're hitting on women instead of flirting with them - the former is serious and solicitous while the latter is playful, where the outcome does not matter. Short of that, don't worry so much. And, honestly, a bit of empathy can be helpful here.
A woman wants to go to the goddamn post office and can't get there without some dude panhandling for her vagina. In the case of sales, the woman is probably just trying to buy a damn toaster and she has to deal with some guy hitting on her. Make it less about trying to sell your dick and more about having a fun and playful encounter.
You cannot hit on a woman Pua direct approach sexual harassment she is attracted to you. In the case of the work episode that was harassment, I was not pushy, and it was someone i was going up to to pitch what we're selling, after i got her to sign up.
She seemed to enjoy me talking to her during the sale, so i asked her out. If a guy asked me out and I told him immediately that I wasn't interested, the absolute best response would be, "Ok, no problem" with a smile.
That would make me feel at ease. How you respond when she says she's not interested can really have an impact. Not that I know how this played out in this particular situation and of course I don't know this particular girl - but in case it ever happens in the future. I mean "Ok no problem" with a smile part is what happened. Not the her feeling at ease part. If that's exactly what happened, how exactly were you banned from working at the campus?
Obviously the woman must've reported you. Or else, there's some other reason? By that's exactly what happened, I mean I said "OK no problem" with a smile. Something to that effect. The her "feeling at ease" part is not what happened. She reported me anyway for asking her out in the first place. Work on being a good person, achieving great things and be aware of when you do good and bad. If you succeed at your goals, you will gain more confidence allowing you to truly be yourself.
The woman who appreciates you for who you are is the one most likely to stick with you, and the one you are most likely to wanna stick with. Some women will Pua direct approach sexual harassment like who you are, in which case let them be. If a woman seems uncomfortable with your advances, then back away or take just one step back, depending on the situation. It has happened that girls have ignored me or had no interest in me.
I do take it personally, and they generally don't seem to feel harassed either. If you say hi to a girl and she claims sexism or harrassment, then she is a nutbag not worth your time - however it is noteworthy, that I have yet to experience that.
I have only been in 2 long term relationships 23mbut they both didnt have strong political opinions on gender equality, and I would describe both as egalitarian with a fair view Pua direct approach sexual harassment both genders.
His point about hitting on women versus flirting is also excellent. Do not make your interactions about impressing women with ability, personality, looks, wealth or succes. It will either not work or not attract the right person. Remember - your time and attention is also valuable - it should not be a given that you wanna grant her that. Flirting is a 2-way interaction of fun playfulness, where both participants have fun and are active.
If that is not the case, maybe you click better with a different girl. You can buy it cheap on amazon or view it free on his website, I believe. If you say hi to a girl and she claims sexism or harassment, then she is a nutbag not worth your time - however it is noteworthy, that I have yet to experience that. You just said be yourself than said don't feel a certain way about feminism because it hurts your chances. Dude my wife is anti feminist, I couldn't of met her if I didn't let me opinions about feminism come out.
Your reply not only agrees with most of the shit the other commenter said, but then you somehow also manage to skew his comment and also disagree with it, at the same time. He is bragging about nothing, you don't need to be anything but yourself you can get women at any point in your life. How'd you meet your wife? Just as full disclosure, I was a mod of this sub for like 4 years -- I've seen the other dude's advice a million times, and I certainly disagree with part of it, and I agree with some of what you said.
I wasn't trying to hate on your comment I didn't even downvote it or anythingbut I thought it was a weird response to his comment.
I think he means that working on yourself can increase your confidence because you feel better about yourself. Not that any of this has any relevance to my question. I wasn't asking how to attract girls, I was talking about how to avoid talking to the 1 lunatic out of a decent and willing girls who is going to try to ruin my life for even showing interest in her.
All it takes is one. In my college story it was 1 out of Asking 13 girls out is all it took to get 1 to get me banned from working on campus.
Which is why my advice is getting a recording, I think people misjudge you, called you bitter and gave you a crash course on how hard life is for a women and ignore your entire point. Most people will take any false accusation as a attack on women, as they claim it hurts them, your only hope is a recording. Great idea, thank you! Pua direct approach sexual harassment would also allow me to analyze better my reference experiences for faster improvement. Unfortunately, this only protects me legally.
It wouldn't protect me from getting banned from places at the private discretion of management college campuses, malls, etc. Another poster here got kangaroo courted and expelled from college over a false accusation, even though the police concluded based on evidence provided by his lawyer that the accusation was false. Also, it's not just false accusations or unreasonable objection to my behavior that I'm worried about.
It's doing something uncalibrated "Pua direct approach sexual harassment" the process of practicing that does seem like sexual harassment from the outside, when it is merely me making a mistake.
A guy showing his desire to a woman can make her attracted to him. But it's true you can't be overly aggressive without IOIs first. If you can't do both at the same time, don't try to do it until you have more experience with it.
Just ease into it at first. My girlfriend is 25 years older than me, and I only met her cuz I randomly saw her across the bar and decided to "flirt" with her. I Pua direct approach sexual harassment technically "hitting on" her, but in a more playful manner. Turns out, she was with her daughter who is 5 years older than me -- her daughter kept telling me to go away, but I knew the mom was into it.
I've now been with that same mom for 4 years and I'm friendly with the daughter now. You don't need IOIs first -- they're just a recommendation for guys who don't know what they're doing yet.
I was that same guy once. Though even in that situation, there were some IOIs, technically -- I could tell that she was glancing at me from across the bar. And when I went up to her, she was pretty friendly. And when I started flirting, she got even more friendly.
She laughed at all my jokes -- even the shitty ones -- and most importantly, she ignored her own daughter when the daughter was telling me to go away. I knew she liked me simply because she was constantly glancing at me from across the bar.