Before you start bracing yourself for a finger-wagging lecture from some uptight, buzzkill prude, relax, because when it comes to me, nothing could be further from the truth. Over the course of half a lifetime living in Los Angeles, I hooked up more times than I can count, talked to hundreds of people in the game, and watched as the Internet transformed the act of hooking up from something you had to at least work at a little into a commodity like pizza you could order up on your phone.
How so, you ask? Let me count the ways. Two of you come together, shake hands, play a match.
No harm, no foul. Lemme give you a basic truth: Do this often enough, and the shields will stay up and never come down. It What am i doing wrong in my hookup life been said by people who study such things that we come into this world wired in such a way as to make the act of getting naked with a new partner for the first time the single most endorphin-producing event a human can experience without drugs, anyway.
History and literature abound with examples of this phenomenon at work: Helen and Paris, Antony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Heloise and Abelard and countless others come readily to mind—men and women who moved mountains and paid tremendous prices just to get satisfyingly laid.
So lemme ask you: Think about how much trouble you have simply finding someone truly interesting and compatible to talk to at a cocktail party full of strangers. Needle in a haystack, right? Now, multiply that haystack by about a thousand when the clothes come off. In no area of life are quantity and quality more mutually exclusive than in the arena of sex. Finding more than one or two of these qualities in a random stranger at any given time is hard enough.
Pulling it off on a regular basis?
You crave dominant; ten minutes in, he asks to be diapered. You love foreplay and connection; he wants to do you from behind and be done with it. You like it sweet and simple; he pulls out his treasure chest of sex toys.
You fight each other for bottom, end up limply bumping pussies. I could go on, and on, and on. Look, you can talk about these things during preliminary negotiations all you want, but all at least one of you will really be doing is trying to sell the other.
Back to the tennis match: Nick Lowe, that notorious, hell-raising, womanizing rocker, probably summed up this point better than anybody: As I once said to a young guy who asked me to do something to him no one of his age should even know about, much less actually do: Yeah yeah, I know: So there you have it — all my years of cumulative hookup wisdom in a nutshell.
Is this advice for everyone? So how do you pull this off? Am I full of shit on this subject? Or have I missed anything?
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Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. Sex is not like tennis. Just a game, my ass. Hooking up can What am i doing wrong in my hookup life you hard and callous.
Habitual hooking up reduces sex to the level of the mundane. Most of the hookup sex you have will probably be mediocre at best.
You and your partner will rarely be on the same page.