When it comes to dating after divorce, I could fill a book with wisdom as well as warnings I very nearly have While I highly recommend dating divorced men -- dare I admit that I've done so on two continents?
In case you're wondering, one divorced dad swept me off my feet then dropped me over a ledge.
Another captured my heart and still holds it, most tenderly. And one remains a trusted friend to this day and I'm glad.
So here goes -- one single mother's set of red flags when it comes to dating divorced men, culled from a very long decade of post-marital dating experience. Do be careful of the divorced man who is only recently out of his marriage. Unless of course you're looking for a fling like himlooking to experiment as is heor looking to get your heart broken.
Be particularly cautious if Relationship with divorced man already looking for Spouse 2. We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. Be especially wary if Mr. Wonderful is shopping for Spouse 4, 5, Do pay attention to what your kids think of him, and what his kids think of you.
Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. Our children have excellent instincts.
We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation.
If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship. While you may have help that frees you up for the occasional vacation, dating with kids at different ages and stages can pose logistical and financial challenges, much like age-stage differences in the couple itself. Do listen if he says he isn't interested in helping to parent your kids, he's tired of you only being available "Relationship with divorced man" a weekend relationshipor he can't afford to pick up the financial slack for a single mother with children.
And that's the fact that you're working two jobs already, and he may be working two jobs of his own. When a man clearly indicates what is and isn't a deal breaker, we owe him the respect of honoring his choices. Your girlfriends like him. Your mother likes him.
The neighbors like him, too, and he and his ex seem very friendly. But something in your gut tells you he's too good to be true. All I can say is this: Listen to your gut, listen to your gut, listen to your gut -- no matter what others think and how good things seem on the surface.
Be sure to take your time to get to know him, his family, his friends, his co-workers.
Time is on your side. There is never a good reason to rush a relationship -- especially if you have kids. Players, Cheapskates and Narcissists Sign up for our newsletter here. News Politics Entertainment Communities.
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