There are times when I accidentally confuse my boyfriend because I come across as fickle. In the morning, I might talk about how I want to spend the night out, about how Dating girls with anxiety cannot wait to take shots and see friends and have the time of our lives. But after a few hours go by, I might change my mind. I might decide I would rather spend the night inside, on the couch, in our pajamas.
I have to be in the right mood to socialize. I can lose my energy in a heartbeat. I can change my mind in an instant.
I accidentally push my boyfriend away, because when something is bothering me, I keep the pain locked up inside. The problem is that my boyfriend still notices something is wrong because I am acting too quiet.
Because I am giving short answers. Because I am not acting like myself. I want "Dating girls with anxiety" keep my complaints to myself because I know how psychotic they sound. My anxiety makes me overly insecure. No amount of compliments from my boyfriend will convince me that I look good that day. I will still criticize my own appearance. I will still get jealous of other girls who enter the room. I will still doubt my own worth. He wants me to see what he sees.
It bothers him when I use the word ugly and delete pictures of myself, but I cannot help myself. There are countless times when I get jealous — not only of the women I wrongly view as my competition, but of my boyfriend. Of how easy Dating girls with anxiety is for him to talk to everyone.
Sometimes I will snap at him without meaning to because I get frustrated about how I will never be able to socialize so easily, because I wish I was better, because he deserves better.
My anxiety causes me to overthink when there is no reason to worry. I will get upset about something I think my boyfriend did, even though it never actually happened. I will become upset about fake arguments I had inside of my head and assume my boyfriend is growing bored of dealing with me, even though he expresses his love every single day.
I will make problems in my head.
I will cause drama when everything was going fine. I feel like my anxiety makes me difficult to handle — but somehow, my boyfriend still makes me feel like I am easy to love. Like I am worthy of that love.
Like I am never going to lose that love. Holly is the author of Severe d: A Creepy Poetry Collection. A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.
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A website by Thought. Holly Riordan Holly is the author of Severe d: We dug up three conspiracies that are so crazy… they might be true. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! Dating someone with anxiety issues or an anxiety disorder can be horribly stressful.
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