Many people do not feel comfortable talking about sexuality and sexual health issues.
This pamphlet will explore ways of feeling more confident in discussing herpes in the context of a sexual relationship. Cold sores on the mouth and genital herpes are medically the same condition. The significant difference arises from the stigma that tends to accompany a herpes infection that is sexually transmitted.
Most people find that their partners are both supportive and understanding. It is a common assumption to initially think that a person may base their judgement of you on the fact you have genital herpes.
However, for most this is a minor skin infection. People fear the possibility of rejection but the reality of this is that it rarely happens. Because fear of rejection is a concern, it leads some to question why they should risk talking about herpes. Accordingly, some people choose not to tell.
Instead they abstain during herpes outbreaks, practice safe sex at other times, and hope for the best. This strategy may have more disadvantages than advantages. First of Is it worth dating a girl with herpes, you spend a lot of time and "Is it worth dating a girl with herpes" worrying that your partner is going to get herpes. For most people, the anxiety over not telling your partner you have herpes is worse than the telling itself.
On the other hand, by telling your partner you have herpes and allowing them to enter into the relationship with full knowledge of your infection, you reduce the likelihood of them becoming infected with herpes. Excuses create distance between partners and often lead to misunderstanding and guesswork. Your partner might interpret your excuses in ways more detrimental to the relationship than an honest discussion of genital herpes would be. Inaccurate and stigmatising articles and advertising have contributed to many of us having a lot of negative beliefs related to herpes that make it difficult to convince ourselves that others would want to be with us.
Accepting the fact that you have herpes and are still the same person you were before will make it easier to have a fulfilling relationship. The more emotionally charged an issue, the more important it is to find out the facts. Most people know little or no facts about herpes. Frequently, what knowledge they have is coloured by myth and misconception.
Having the correct information about herpes not only makes it easier for your partner, it makes it easier for you.
Following are some of the basic facts about herpes that might be important points to tell a partner. There is a lot of information about herpes. Have educational materials on hand for your partner to read. Be prepared to answer their questions.
What you say and how you say it is going to depend on your own personal style. Your attitude will influence how this news is received. Psychologists have observed that people tend to behave the way you expect them to behave, and expecting rejection increases the chances of an unhappy outcome.
A straightforward and positive conversation about herpes issues is the best approach and may be helped by forward planning. How long should you know someone before you tell them?