Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. A supermassive black hole at that, packed with all the incomprehension, misinterpretation and Battle of the Sexes bewilderment that is always out there, but only becomes visible to the naked eye during intergalactic conflict.
The spreadsheet allegedly emailed in a fit of priapic pique by a frustrated US husband denied his conjugal rights is — fake or not — an exquisite primer in the fundamental ways in which men and women are from different planets. Spreadsheet that the sexually frustated husband made.
More and more, we're spying on our other halves.
Why we're falling in love with men from other countries. Could you give up sex for a year? Frustrated husband creates spreadsheet of wife's excuses "Signs of unloving wife sexual dysfunction" no sex. But a lusty chap, indignant at being thwarted, sees only the misses and indeed the missusnot the hits. Maybe three times a week. You almost took my eye out. But can a spreadsheet save a marriage? If there were documentary evidence, a charge sheet of crimes and misdemeanours, promises not kept, bins not emptied and shelving not erected, would that help rekindle the romance?
He has to stop complaining and start thinking 'What do I have to do in order for her to want to have sex?
A good start is the kind of wooing behaviour most husbands assumed they had left behind as soon as the ring was on the bridal finger. Erroneously, they think that compliments and flowers, hand-holding and general attentiveness are not just unnecessary but cheesy once they are married. Cheesy they may be, but necessary — as attested by the short shrift given to Mr Spreadsheet.
However, Mrs Spreadsheet might need Signs of unloving wife sexual dysfunction start thinking outside the box and inside the bed a bit more as well. Such sentiments may appear anti-feminist. But a mismatch of desire is a recognised stress Signs of unloving wife sexual dysfunction in many failing relationships and Kaye is a clear-eyed pragmatist.
Sex has always been a source of tension as much as tendresse; a bargaining tool, a theatre of conflict, a weapon. Lysistrata, the anti-war comedy by Aristophanes, famously features a sex ban by the women of Ancient Greece, who withhold all favours in a strategy designed to end the Peloponnese War. In recent times, the author and former enfant terrible music journalist Julie Burchill revealed that she went to great lengths to avoid going to hotels with any of her husbands as it would mean having to sleep with them.
While the rest of womankind might not share her distaste, we sure know what she means. But an even greater taboo is the loss of libido in men. But for every disconsolate man with an actual or metaphorical spreadsheet of misery, there is an equally unhappy woman feeling rejected and unloved. In fact, a study by Relate found that, for half of the couples who attended counselling, the problem involved the man — most commonly, lack of desire or erectile dysfunction.
Saucy underwear and seduction are unlikely to be a quick fix, and Boynton counsels against it. Verbal communication is a way forward.