Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: I thought I was the only one. The key is to not force it. Asking someone a question is another option. Come up with thoughtful, open-ended questions, ones that you actually care about learning the answers to. Ask for a specific restaurant recommendation, a new workout class, or the best nearby cafe to work from. They also give a glimpse into your own personality and make follow-up conversations — like chatting about how that exercise class went or even suggesting that you go to one together — a little easier!
They are often unexpected and deeply appreciated. It might feel easier to compliment the things that are obvious, like physical appearance or style, but if you feel up to it, make it something a little more personal. Compliment their work ethic, creativity, insightful comment, compassion, or great laugh.
Explain what you love about it and why it moves you. These kinds of genuine, perceptive compliments are the ones that stick with us.
And moving beyond the superficial can make people feel seen and heard in ways that really foster connection and friendship.
Usually, the more you give, the more insincere they can start to feel. And ideally, most of us want friendships that are based on balance and equality, not adulation. One of the main things that separates good friends from casual acquaintances is the ongoing emotional, practical, and social support.
Sometimes, offering tangible support or having a concrete goal in mind can make it easier to approach someone in the hopes of becoming better friends.
It actually has very little to do with impressing someone else and everything to do with trying to make both of you feel more at ease. Sharing a lighthearted comment or joke, your penchant pun-chant?
At the very least it can be a helpful litmus test for seeing whether you can bond over your sense of humor! This last strategy is the one that can make us feel the most vulnerable. But when you feel like you have the most to lose, you most definitely have the most to gain. I really enjoyed our conversation! People are often far more receptive to this than we expect.
They might even be relieved that you made the first move! It takes time, patience, vulnerability, and repetition — which means plenty of opportunities to practice these different approaches! Log In Good to see you again. Create Account Create an account so you'll have a place to store your favorites.
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