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139.3fm shares

Dating dashboard anywhere

opinion

I think a lot about the sheer math of modern Tinder. These are not official figures, but I would say based on my experience and that of friends they are eminently fair. Fifty match you back, optimistically.

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Twenty actually send you a message and you message 10 additional people, but only hear back from two of them. Three turn out to be bots or illiterate.

Five say something extremely gross referencing aspects of your anatomy. Four just say "hi" or some variation thereof and are not attractive or interesting enough to get away with it; they too may be bots. The remaining eight are worth responding to.

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The other two move to texting. One turns out to be so busy that you try to schedule a date and they cancel three separate times.

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The remaining one you schedule a date with, rolling a three-sided die: You could attribute these terrible odds to any number of things Dating dashboard anywhere me, and I feel certain there are people who have more success than I do.

People who literally order men to their apartments for dick appointments are bolder and less afraid than I am that anyone could be a kleptomaniac or serial killer, or at least more confident that they could manage that situation.

But take it for granted I am a nice-ish normal-ish person with the line "tell me how you feel about avocados" in my bio.

But even still, Tinder and its peers are so much thumbwork just to get one person to physically show up.