And that has to be acknowledged — and dealt with — constantly. We talk a lot in social justice circles about how to attempt to be a better white ally to people Am dating i interracial not single color — and a lot of that Allyship advice can and should be directly applied to our intimate relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.
The same goes for race. And that starts with recognizing that you do, in fact, have a race and that your whiteness — and whiteness in general — plays a huge role in how race relations play out socially and interpersonally.
And it continues with understanding that being able to talk about race in a conscientious way is an avenue to showing love toward your partner. Sometimes I want to talk to someone who just gets it.
And part of attempting allyship is understanding that sometimes, your partner just needs someone else right now. That shit is hard. And especially in romantic or sexual relationships where one, both, or all of you have close ties to your family, remembering that families function differently culture to culture is a must. Because are they, really?
Or are you creating a default of whiteness and punishing your partner for deviating from that norm?